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Summer Camp (Wizards & Warriors, Intro)
Track 1 from "Advantage: proGrammar!" by Advantage: proGrammar

Dear Mom + Dad, it’s yr son from camp. I’d like to come home, could you pick me up (please)?
It’s been 5 days, but it feels like 20. Please don’t say, “But we spent the money.”
I’ll pay you back from my allowance when I get back, if you’ll allow it.
Please don’t make me stay the whole month, ‘cause I really don’t think I could stand so much.

I dunno who's worse, the kids or counslers. On the basketball courts, they’re bouncers.
Aim a baseball straight for your face; volleyball punch, it’s the spike you taste.
Forget about fencing and horseshoe chucking. Football and wrestling? You got me chuckling.
I don’t even hop the scotch with these kids! I don’t even skip the rocks with these kids!

And as far as the staff, forget about it. Graduated camp last year, I don’t doubt it.
All past injuries and personal insults dumped on us kids, hurtful results.
Now I know exactly how the French did being ruled by a king who was just a kid.
Mommy + Daddy, nobody’s more desperate than one under the thumb of a teenage despot.

And worst of all is our spiritual leader. Come from the sect of the touchy-feelers.
God complex beat the ER surgeon. Dude more fishy than a barrel of sturgeon!
I’m not even surea his denomination, but every last sermon’s about abominations
Like unwed kids having prom relations, tho he seems to be down with the bombing nations.

Please, I beg you, you gotta come get me! I’m in trouble with a capital “T” (tea) like Tetley.
If I don’t escape from “Camp Feelgood” soon, I'll drink my homemade Jimtown-Aid at high noon!
It gets worse by the second they started suspectin'. These simple subjects teach an object lesson.
I’m the odd man out and they’re getting even. I’m trapped in Purgatory and I best be leaving (believing) !

Mom, Dad, I need you now. Come pick me up. I’m coming home...

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